Warlocks Index – Previous Chapter
Before I realised that I had not eaten anything since the previous evening, I had played out numerous scenarios in my mind as to how to proceed. Returning to Haven was not possible and I had no place to go in the village that had been my home for many years. As such, none of my imaginings presented very favourable endings.
Graciul had been hunting, started a fire ensuring it was hidden and safe, cooked and was now serving the remains of the last of our travel supplies and meat from some animal. He presented me a travel dish with a small spread of morsels. I ate in silence torn by the events of the past days, and feeling very inadequate in the shadow of Graciul’s efficiency.
The last of the day’s sunlight faded as we finished our meals, and with the darkness, exhaustion took its toll on me. My thoughts became jumbled and chaotic. I tried to shake the feeling, guilty I wasn’t making a greater effort, and leaving all the burden to Graciul. He must have noticed.
“Get some rest. We will be quite safe here.” For once, I saw him smile, brief but genuine. “I sometimes come here while hunting. It’s quiet and you can hear things from miles away. Plus I may have a few surprises set up.”
“Surprises?” I watched his face in the flickering fire light.
“Animal traps and noise makers. They’re very effective against people also.” He looked to me, with a proud smile. “Nothing dangerous, but certainly very frustrating.” And he winked.
Somehow, this unseen side of the boy left me feeling more comforted. After a moment or two, I took his advice and sought a place to sleep amongst the discarded haystacks. Once I was comfortable, it was not long before I drifted to sleep.
*****
Faces and shadowy figures closed in around me. I spied my hutch in the distance, standing alone and intact, and as I made to head towards it, the figures converged on me blocking my path. I turned and saw the towers of the academy beaconing me towards them, before the figures again blocked my way. I turned again and saw a forest, dark and brooding, on the horizon. I did not want to go there, and I turned away and darkness fell upon me. My hutch and the academy vanished in the darkness. The shadowy figures took on grey smokey outlines swarming my vision.
A voice drifted on the breeze. Familiar in both its sound and message. “I cannot control what happens to me. I can only take responsibility for the choices I make in response.” My own words to Billtak. Then another voice. “You will be the only one.” Toa Freyah, my mother, my mentor and master.
I looked up to the ghostly figures and for the first time noticed that they all were pointing, and in the same direction. Turning to see, it was the dark a brooding forest that now, in the darkness, glowed with hanging lanterns and glowflies. There was a sense of foreboding, and I felt fear rising within me. I wanted to run away. “We see through your eyes. You will not fall.” Toa Lars’ voice whispered in my mind.
The Dream Walk I did for Cassinda came to mind, and how I guided her to create a safe dream space. I sat on the vague dark ground, closed my eyes and focussed my thoughts. I imagined the space with my hutch, in front of the hearth, and the sense of warmth it gave. I could feel my anxiety ease away. My fear was a suggestion, a warning, like a birdcall warning its family to danger, giving them the opportunity to act. I needed to acknowledge and accept the warning without letting it overwhelm me.
Why did I fear the forest? For what I imagined was within. And what did I imagine was within? The visions of a traumatised young woman, dark and disturbing. A strange man with a disturbing power. Violence and aggression. What can I do about it? I could run and never discover the truth, or I could face the forest, face my fear, and unmask the mystery.
I opened my eyes to see the glowing forest in the distance. The grey figures unmoving were around me. I stood up and took a step toward the forest, and something moved within. Lanterns swayed and glowflies swirled as disturbed by another presence. Resolved with intent, I forced myself another step forward.
A dark shadow erupted from the distance forest and was rushing at me with impossible speed. Suddenly, the face of the strange man with the Silver Tongue was looking at me, almost nose to nose, with a wide grin, and pure white eyes that glowed.
“Join me brother. Together we could change the world.” The face then exploded with a cold blast throwing me backwards.
And I woke with a start in the dark silence of the night. Other than my heavy breathing, I could only hear insects, and a soft snoring on the far side of the barn. I stayed awake for a few minutes before I noted the fading warmth in my robes. The crystal hidden within was warm and slowly cooled as I lay there reflecting.
I eventually fell to exhaustion again and slept peacefully until morning.
*****
The sun was well above the horizon by the time I awoke, memories of my vision rich in my mind. As I lay there, I clutched at the crystal at my chest. It’s participation in the night’s journey was a mystery but I sensed it had protected me in some way. I sat up as welcoming smells of cooking drifted over me. Graciul calmly prepared a simple selection of food items that he had clearly collected as I had slept.
I marvelled at his industriousness and realised how fortunate I was to have such a one that I could rely upon. The significance of his role in recent events dawned upon me, and I could not imagine where I would be without his aid. I made my way across to him and took my place near the fire.
“Thank you Graciul.”
He looked at me. “It’s nothing. I keep a few stores here and there.”
“No. Thank you, for everything. I cannot imagine where I would be without your support right now. So much has happened.”
He paused his cooking, then lowered the utensil in is hand. “You gave me some advice years ago, when I was but a child. Listen to your heart, talk to your dreams, and follow where they lead, but never let your fears guide you. I have never forgotten those words, and they have been my guide since. I owe more than I could ever repay.”
Memories of a young child struggling with nightmares came to me, and I saw the child in the young man before me. Two such different creatures that I had not seen him before. He was reborn in my eyes with a lesson I had forgotten I had given, now returned to me at the time I needed it most.
Between my vision and my own returned teachings, my path forward was clear, to confront the ghostly face of the stranger, and his troubling offer. Cold uncertainty sat deep within me, and there I hoped it would stay. I had two directions I could take, and I couldn’t turn back now.
Reflection of a Ham 