The Hard Road Part 9 – Making a Stand

This brings the story to almost now, and there are things happening in my life now that once upon a time, I may have been unable to manage, and may very well have found myself contemplating the unthinkable yet again. Yet I am not. I feel I have “matured,” and in the true sense of […]

The Hard Road Part 8 – Perspectives

I was changing my view of the world. What I began to realise, and not just superficially, but innately, was just how much our world view is dependent on our individual perspectives. We aren’t just all different, we see the world differently. Yet the evidence is all around us. I began to appreciate how much […]

The Hard Road Part 7 – Journeys End

So began a process of self-discovery, and the culmination of life experiences into a concrete philosophy. I drew on everything I read which seemed to fill the gaps with what I knew. I sort information and advice where-ever I could find it. I relived interesting events in my life, which I have not recounted so […]

The Hard Road Part 6 – Someone Saved my Life

I left off at a very dark place with my last post on this, and it got darker. My emotions slowly grew in strength and I struggled to maintain my rational self. I began fantasising ways I could end my life, and yet leave wife and daughter able to carry on financially. I thought that […]

The Hard Road Part 5 – Picking up the pieces

So with the events of my trip to the UK behind me, and my still aching ego nagging at me, I nursed my wounds for a short while. Then I ended up back at uni, this time as an employee. I got straight back into my theatre work, and resigned myself to the life of […]

The Hard Road Part 4 – Strange Games

Upon my return home, somewhat relieved, but bitterly disappointed in myself, some interesting stories unravelled over the course of a few weeks. First I need to explain one thing before getting to the meat. While I was in the UK, my cat had passed away. He was a gorgeous Russian Blue, and incredibly intelligent. When […]

The Hard Road Part 3 – Side Track

I had been staying with my grandmother in Mousehole, just outside of Penzance. A small fishing village, but the Penzance city centre was a short walk away, and I went there often. Life was good. I was seeing a lot of the Cornish landscape, and getting familiar with the lifestyle. I was invited to stay […]

The Hard Road Part 2 – Big Plans

After switching my degree from a pure Computing Science degree, to allow me more freedom with selecting electives, I did a year of Theatre Arts. That year, something shook loose inside. I discovered a different side to myself, a side I rather liked. It was playful, confident, unashamed, and funny. The inner clown was released. […]

The Hard Road Part 1 – Acceptance

Well, here we go again. It wasn’t long ago that I was inspired to write about my youth and struggles with depression. Now I find I am again surrounded by reasons to continue. In the first part of my journey, I really didn’t know what was going on, and certainly didn’t accept that I was […]