An aging ham ponders life
After switching my degree from a pure Computing Science degree, to allow me more freedom with selecting electives, I did a year of Theatre Arts. That year, something shook loose inside. I discovered a different side to myself, a side I rather liked. It was playful, confident, unashamed, and funny. The inner clown was released.... Continue Reading →
Well, here we go again. It wasn't long ago that I was inspired to write about my youth and struggles with depression. Now I find I am again surrounded by reasons to continue. In the first part of my journey, I really didn't know what was going on, and certainly didn't accept that I was... Continue Reading →
This weekend has been a rather interesting weekend. First I bump into a friend who tells me they struggle with their Vlog. Please check it out. Something I am very familiar with with regards my blog, having struggled for a long while to find anything interesting in myself to blog about, I can understand the... Continue Reading →
Patience isn't a virtue. It is not something special, nor even notably good or bad. Even according to Christian Values, it isn't a virtue. To quote Wikipedia's entry: While patience is not one of the traditional biblical three theological virtues nor one of the traditional cardinal virtues, it is part of the fruit of the... Continue Reading →
It is quiet inside. There is a serenity within. The static that once persisted, now is notably absent. It is calm inside. There is a stillness there. The waves that once crashed, now are pleasantly subdued. It is empty inside. There is a space between. The muck that once swilled, now is washed away. An... Continue Reading →
I think I have realised something today. An interesting side effect of being someone recovering from depression. It makes you overly sensitive to someone else's. I know I've done it more than once. That is, jump in with unsolicited advice when I get the whiff of a sad emotion, particularly when it rare to see... Continue Reading →
On a completely different tangent, and something a little different in my life, this happened. I loved it. Billy and I chatted like we were good friends. He was a delight to interview. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8sbHQOOhbI
It is an interesting beast family. They come in all shapes and sizes. For many, it is the seat of support, comfort and encouragement. For others, it is something to fear, avoid, or deny the existence of. Mine edges towards the latter, sadly. As I have been opening up more and more about the past,... Continue Reading →
One thing that has plagued me for years is strange little periods of a panic like fear. They can last minutes or for hours. At worst, they have lingered for a few days. It's like a sense that you have forgotten something really important, and something bad will happen if you don't figure it out... Continue Reading →
Today I feel the touch of darkness, like a cold breeze at the back of my neck, and I am actually forcing myself to write this now. I lean forward to cover my face with my hands, as I struggle to find something to feel positive about. I can think of dozens of things that... Continue Reading →
Reflection of a Ham 