It has been a very odd year, and I know it isn’t over yet. Many potentially bad things have happened, which have evolved into good things.
The Money Wheel
At the beginning of the year, I was experiencing the ramifications of rash decision making as I found myself rapidly running out of money, with no work, big plans slipping away like a falling tide. It was a frightening time. I was fortunate in one respect that I had been convinced to take an arranged Leave Without Pay break from work, rather than terminate my employment altogether. While I had planned for 12 months leaves, this rapidly became a desperate 5 months, after my request to cut my leave short was initially met with difficulty, but I was able to eventually get back to work.
Now as the end of the year approaches, I find myself in a better financial position then when I first took the leave over a year ago. The experience has made me a little more conservative with my finances, and I also supplement my income with a Tivia Night hosting gig, which has made a big difference, and been a lot of fun.
Personally, I would love to find a way to not have to worry about the demon god money, without having to resort to isolationist commune type lifestyles. The things I want to do most passionately, are tied up in the world of money, which means I need to find a way to work with the beast.
The Parting of Ways
Not long after returning to work, my partner of 15 years and I agree to separate, which was not completely unexpected. Under the regulations in Australia, legally you have to be separated for a year in order to apply for a divorce. I guess this is a trial period in the hopes of catching the temperamental divorcing couple who really don’t want to divorce.
So the past year has had a slight change in sleeping arrangements, and my partner is slowly filling the back room with her packed belongings, but otherwise, very little has changed. Our biggest concern has been our daughter, who was initially very upset and resistant. She seems to dealing with it now. Not happy, but accepting.
The odd things is, and this is my personal opinion, that we now get on better than we did before. We never had a bad marriage. It was up and down, but there was a growing distance and tension. That seems to have faded now that we have made the decision, and apart from uncertainty as to what comes next, we are generally more content than before.
My parents health continues to gradually decline, but their will remains strong, but the continual visits to hospitals is slowly grinding them down and making my father realise, with reluctance, that maybe they really do need to seek a professional caring service… While the realisation is there, for a change, the resistance is still strong.
Within the past week, I was rocked by news of the passing of my grandmother in the UK. While she was not a big presence in my life, living so far apart, she was a big influence on my life. I figure of utter inspiration, I had imagined her living on beyond 100, but that was not to be. She did get to meet her first and only Great-Grand-daughter, a few years ago when she arranged for a holiday for us. I have many wonderful memories of her.
So when I think of how the year has gone, and how many potentially bad things happened, I’ve only mentioned a few, that have proven to be productive and good, I can’t help but wonder where this will lead. Currently, I find myself distracted and feeling a little lost. This is particularly strong at my work where I was first told of her passing, and which has lost so much of its appeal to me over the year.
Despite the sadness, I am hopeful of where it might take me.
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