An aging ham ponders life
I think I have realised something today. An interesting side effect of being someone recovering from depression. It makes you overly sensitive to someone else's. I know I've done it more than once. That is, jump in with unsolicited advice when I get the whiff of a sad emotion, particularly when it rare to see... Continue Reading →
On a completely different tangent, and something a little different in my life, this happened. I loved it. Billy and I chatted like we were good friends. He was a delight to interview. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8sbHQOOhbI
It is an interesting beast family. They come in all shapes and sizes. For many, it is the seat of support, comfort and encouragement. For others, it is something to fear, avoid, or deny the existence of. Mine edges towards the latter, sadly. As I have been opening up more and more about the past,... Continue Reading →
One thing that has plagued me for years is strange little periods of a panic like fear. They can last minutes or for hours. At worst, they have lingered for a few days. It's like a sense that you have forgotten something really important, and something bad will happen if you don't figure it out... Continue Reading →
Today I feel the touch of darkness, like a cold breeze at the back of my neck, and I am actually forcing myself to write this now. I lean forward to cover my face with my hands, as I struggle to find something to feel positive about. I can think of dozens of things that... Continue Reading →
I am a gamer. Have been for years. I built my first "console" long before the Vic 20 was released, which involved acids baths (not on me), soldering, and programming in hexadecimal. I think I just lost many of you. No fear, I'm not going to get any more technical then that. What I am... Continue Reading →
Delving through the recesses of my mind, I came across a picture frame. The photo within was of a small boy, who had a mop of platinum white hair, and ice-cream on his face. He was clearly enjoying himself. Yet see here, the edges of the frame are thin and frayed, with streaks of grey... Continue Reading →
I dreamed of a celebrity, just the other day. Hounded by the paparazzi, with little to say. The sounds of voices was immense, with silly requests. The people tightly packed, intense. Standing room at best. Yet unfazed he was as he walked, chewing on a sweet, through the crazed and mad hordes that squawked, as... Continue Reading →
A sense of numbness. A quietness of the mind. A stillness of the heart. A touch of the surreal. The world is changing, revolving, turning. I feel motionless, muffled, isolated. The transition has finally come. If imagination had a heart beat, Mine would be flat lining. The calm before the storm. The phoenix shall rise.
When one's expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have. Stephen Hawking I have said before that I personally believe Expectations to be a measure of failure, not success. They establish a virtual line-in-the-sand where one side is disappointment, the other enjoyment. Another way to look at it is as rigid,... Continue Reading →
Reflection of a Ham 